Monday, March 24, 2014

War on Weapons of Mass Deflation

There is a force of at work that seeks to disrupt our peace and safety.  It is responsible to no government, and has a single-minded objective of world domination.

This force is no terrorist organisation, but the terrorist organism.  You may know it by one of its many common names: three-corner-Jack, bindii, bullhead, burra gokharu, caltrop, cat's head, devil's eyelashes, devil's thorn, devil's weed, goathead, puncturevine or tackweed.  But its true name is tribulus terrestris, the earth-thorn.

This menace has probably existed in Australia since the fall, relentlessly spreading to our fair state by concealing itself, and seeding new terror cells wherever it lands.

Like other terrorist cells, tribulus can lie in wait for many years biding its time for the right opportunity to launch a coordinated attack on Australian our way of life.

Terror Organism Activates in Adelaide

After being forced into hiding in cracks and crevises in recent years by the drought and the surveillance of local authorities, tribulus has seized the opportunity afforded by recent summer rains to regroup and multiply its stocks of Weapons of Mass Deflation, appearing in many places where it was until recently thought eliminated.

Now like something out of the Little Shop of Horrors, this organism of terror is reaching its tendrils out onto parks and paths, byways and highways, seeking to use its Weapons of Mass Deflation on cyclists, walkers and pets, indiscriminately inflicting pain and suffering everywhere.

Like something out of The Little Shop of Horrorstribulus terrestris begins as a small plant with innocent looking yellow flowers.  But these soon transform into factories producing hundreds of weapons of mass deflation in just a few short weeks. Image credit: Forest & Kim Starr (

An Opportunity to Defeat This Terror on the Ground

Tribulus is counting on us, the people of South Australia, not being willing to engage in an extensive ground war, to commit the necessary personnel to locate, target and eliminate this terror organism from all its bases of operation.

So confident is it of this, that it has not held back, and has activated almost every dormant seed of activity, with the goal of enlarging its operations and infliction of terror for many years to come.

However, this combination of hubris and lack of discipline is tribulus' weakness: If we can root out tribulus throughout this fair city, we can eliminate its strong-holds, and look forward to a city free from the fear of terror rising out of the ground, unleashing biological weapons of mass deflation on an unsuspecting public.

Chemical Weapons and Indiscriminate Action are not The Answer

In fighting this biological weapon of mass deflation, we must not be tempted into the hypocrisy of fighting with unethical or terrible means ourselves, such as chemical weapons.  

It is unlawful to apply chemical weapons on public or private property, and while they may disable tribulus' biological weapons plants, they do not disable the biological weapons themselves.

Similarly, we must not take actions that violate sovereignty by invading land over which we have no jurisdiction.

Where terrorist organisms are found active on land beyond our jurisdiction our call is to carefully document and collect this information, so that diplomatic solutions can be found.  Diplomatic solutions can include seeking permission to cross borders and fight this terrorist organism on behalf of the citizens or governments resident there.

A Call to form A Coalition of the Willing

Diplomacy among the authorities has already made great progress on the war on tribulus, declaring it an organism non grata.

However, as terrorists know, diplomacy takes time.  Time that tribulus will use to manufacture and deploy massive quantities of biological weapons onto an unsuspecting, peace loving public.

Tribulus cannot be given this opportunity.  We therefore need to form a coalition of the willing, who are willing to strike this foe decisively, while abiding by all local and international treaties, regulations and upholding the rule of law.

We need Weapons Inspectors on the ground who can collect information and share it with the coalition and other relevant authorities, and root this menace out wherever it is found.

We need Analysts who can examine the information, and direct efforts to where they can be most usefully employed.

We need to develop the high-technology tools that will support this mission and give the coalition the tactical and strategic advantage over this cunning adversary.

This will be a short war, as winter will force this terrorist organism to temporarily cease its operations.

A Call to Dig In and Work Cooperatively

We must take careful, targeted action, pulling this menace out by the roots, using mechanical support if required.

We must coordinate our activities, and share intelligence among us, so that we can operate effectively and in a united manner, and so inflict the greatest damage on this terror.

We need to pull together the intelligence tools and resources that will enable this to happen, produce field operations guides for Weapons Inspectors and Analysts.  We already have prototypes of several of tools that can play an effective role in the war on this, and other terrorist organisms, which need to be rapidly prepared for operational deployment.
Above all, we must act quickly, before this relentless enemy of humanity begins deploying its biological weapons arsenal, causing damage to (pet) life and (bicycle) infrastructure. Otherwise we have just days before we begin to feel the pointy end of this terrorist organism.

How to join the Coalition of the Willing

If you wish to be part of the Coalition of the Willing on the War on Terrorist Organisms, join the weapons-of-mass-deflation Google Group, and we will begin coordinating our actions there.  Again, you don't need to be technically skilled to contribute, although we are looking for technical people to help with some of the tools.  We will also need writers, people on the ground to report weed infestations, spread the word, engage property owners and lots of other stuff.

This will be a short war, as winter will force this terrorist organism to temporarily cease its operations.

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